Essentially just ridiculous

Today I went out to lunch at a new place, which I did not choose. Today I went out to lunch at a place that sells potions.

These potions are “purposeful combinations of ingredients” that have been put together to have a “magical effect”. They contain “vibrational essences” which is water that has been “imprinted with an energetic signature” from a particular place or thing. Their potions are infused with the essences from flowers, gemstones, environments and even stories and sounds.

Here is the ingredients list from my potion today. In case you were wondering, I couldn't taste the baby laughter.

Here is the ingredients list from my potion today. In case you were wondering, I couldn’t taste the baby laughter.

Regardless of whether I agree that water can be imprinted with an energetic signature of a rock or flower, I can at least imagine how such a thing might be done. Drop it in, leave it there, take it out. Fine. But did someone really read the water in my drink a story? and the more I think about this, the more questions I have.

Does water hear the same frequencies as us? What if water hears more frequencies, like dogs do – is my magic water infused with things they don’t know about? What if water hears fewer frequencies than humans – am I only getting half the story? Have they considered this, or tried to measure it? How would you measure what sound frequencies my potion water is being imprinted by?

What about other sounds that were occuring at the same time as the sound they were imprinting? I’ve known a few babies, and while baby laughter is lovely, babies poop and pee a lot. What if baby poops while it is laughing and imprinting on the water? Do they start over – or is laughter sound imprinting stronger than poop sound imprinting?

How does the sound essence imprinting work? Does a new sound overwrite all the previous sounds the water has been exposed to? If this is the case, do they store the magical water in a sound proof case? They potions they were selling to take home certainly did not seem to be in a sound proof case, and there were no warnings about exposing them to sound. Do they “fix” the sound imprinting in some way to stop the potions being overwritten?

If the sound essence does not overwrite all the previous sounds, does the water keep some kind of imprint of all the sounds it has been exposed to? Is there some kind of time limit before the sound essence impact on the water wears off? How long would this be – 10 years, 10,000 years? How would they measure this? How are they ensuring that the previous sounds the water has been exposed to are healthy for me? What if someone was murdered within sound essence imprinting range of my magic water – would the sounds of them dying be imprinted stronger than the sounds of someone reading my water a story?

On that note, what is the sound imprinting range of water? Since these are vibrational essences, does the story reader have to actually make the water vibrate while reading it the story – because I don’t know that I want to drink water that someone else has been breathing that close to, not even if it’s magic.

If it isn’t distance, is it intent? Do you have to really want to imprint the vibrational sound essence on the water?  What if the person who read my water a story was having an off day, would this impact my magic water? Can they measure and confirm my water was imprinted? How did someone discover this amazing method of imprinting in the first place?

Tasty? Yes. Magical? Hmmmmmmm.

Tasty? Yes. Magical? Hmmmmmmm.

My potion was very pretty and tasted quite nice. Though I have to say I did not feel the “joy and mirth” state that it was advertised to “transform” me too. That may have been because I was worrying too much about the various implications of this amazing magical process.

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